I’m sure the following can be attributed to my Loose Id editor, Venessa Giunta (who, if you haven’t heard, has recently opened up a new market for short stories – Fictionvale)
I was fiddling around tonight trying to come up with a short story when all of a sudden my brain was invaded by Georgie, Tony, and Etienne from Out of the Blue. I was going for a short, but once I got this far it occurred to me that by the end of the night Georgie would probably be in a snit.
So, for your reading pleasure, a mini-fic that takes place after Out of the Blue ended:
“You know, you think you’re a funny guy but you’re really not.”
Georgie had tried so hard to sound authoritative when she spoke, even going so far as to mimic the way her mother had sounded that time Georgie was ten and had seated herself at the breakfast table wearing her grandmother’s gnarliest beige bra on her head, but there was no way she was pulling it off.
As annoyed as she was by Tony, she really couldn’t talk shit about someone else’s costume while dressed like a giant sock monkey.
“And furthermore,” she went on, adjusting her sock monkey hat, “I’m pretty sure that’s plagiarism. Or invasion of privacy. Or … something.”
Tony grinned and swiped a yellow curl from his face. She had to give him credit, she had expected him to emerge from the bedroom dressed like a condom or a blow-up doll. Instead he’d gone full out geek and turned himself into a Facebook page. Georgie’s Facebook page. He’d gotten a blonde wig and a pair of sunglasses like the ones she wore in her profile picture, and she was pretty sure he was wearing her lipstick.
He tapped the foam board. “These are real status updates. See? Your horoscope. Your Vampire Farm score. Your thoughts on that burrito you had at lunch. Your outrage over the length of time you have to wait at the crosswalk by the coffee shop.”
“Shut up, Tony.” She tilted her head and listened for the sounds of Etienne, locked away in the second bedroom. “I’ll bet he’s going to come out dressed like a potato again this year. Last year he was a potato. The year before that he was a potato.”
“Potatoes are his thing.”
“More like a complex. How many times have we heard about how he had to dress like a potato for a summer job on the island? Every time with the potatoes.”
“Etienne is not a creative guy, not like me.”
He pointed to his crotch. “You’re just bitter because you forgot to feed your vampires and they all turned to dust.”
They both turned their attention down the hall as the door clicked open and Etienne stepped out.
“You have got to be freaking kidding me,” Tony said, and raised his arms. “That is fucking awesome!”
Georgie shook her head. “I don’t get it.”
Etienne pushed past them, no small feat for a large bearded man in a dress covered in rubber birds. “I’m not done yet, hang on.”
He stopped in the middle of the living room with his hands behind his back. One hand came out and he shook out a blonde wig and plopped it onto his head. The other hand produced a headband with one final bird attached to it.
“I just … I can’t even express …” Tony placed both hands over his head. “I love you, man.”
“Why don’t I get this?” Georgie asked.
“Because you don’t watch scary movies,” Etienne said, hands on hips. “I’m Tippi Hedren in The Birds – we watched it last month. Or, Tony and I watched it. You went into the bedroom and put your earphones on because it freaked you out.”
“I’m assuming from the tears welling up in Tony’s eyes that this is a good representation.”
He stuck a hairy leg out. “I’m pretty sure she shaved, or at least wore pantyhose.”
“It’s a good look for you. How’s my make-up?” Tony pulled off his sunglasses. “Do I need more crazy in my eyes to be Georgie? Shit, wait, did you see the other side? Look at my ass. I couldn’t believe my luck when the check-in that made you Mayor of Cupcake Kingdom ended up on my ass.”
I could totally write a sequel about these three, but it would be a pointless series of escapades like this.