Tag Archives for frothy

Good Advice

I recently unfriended someone on Facebook. A fellow writer, not actually published, but aspiring/pre-published/whatever it’s called these days, decided to make the following comment (paraphrased):

“If I can write every day with ALL THE THINGS I HAVE TO DO, so can you. No excuses.”

hector

I hate comments like this. My first thought is always just fuck right off. To me, remarks like this don’t encourage anyone or offer any helpful advice, it’s just the author tooting her own horn. I’m assuming since the author hasn’t been published that she hadn’t experienced the reality of being an author just yet, because all experienced authors I know will open a vein before typing something so blatantly condescending to other writers on social media. An experienced author knows that shit happens — sudden soul-crushing edits land in your inbox, a new deadline crops up, favours are called in, kids get sick, relationships bust up, or Breaking Bad comes back for another season.

Not to say you shouldn’t have any discipline whatsoever, but shit will happen and it won’t give a fuck about your writing schedule. Just deal with your shit — the stories will still be there waiting for you when you’re ready to get back to it.

And now that I have bitched, I shall tell you about the great advice coming out of the How to Write Erotic Fiction site. Lots of good tidbits about time management for those of us who need it, not to mention other fantastic tips:

“Write every day. Okay, nearly every day. If your body, mind and soul are screaming for a break, by all means take one … Be a writer not a body in a chair.” – Sommer Marsden

“Rather than just trying to “fit it in when I can,” it’s helpful to me to schedule time that’s to be purely devoted to writing.” – Emerald

“Consider it whatever works for you, whatever will keep you writing until you get there.” – KD Grace

“Write all the time. Got an idea? Grab a pen. Got no ideas? Grab a pen and pretend you have an idea. I am prolific because I never stop writing.” – Alison Tyler

There’s a fuckton of great advice out there on the web, but it’s sometimes hard to find with all the ego stroking going on out there. UF Author Jesse Peterson, who writes full time, also gave an interesting peek at her writing schedule and goal setting. Jesse also writes erotic romance under the name Jess Michaels, and her schedule is wonderfully organized, leaving room for the unexpected creative rush between projects.

My time management is non-existent. Some days I forgo the writing to get the rest of my shit sorted, and some weekends I let the dishes pile up on the counter in order to get to where I want in a story. Part of me envies writers like Jesse who have kick-ass schedules, but like KD Grace said in the quote above: “whatever works for you,” and if you’re like me, what works for you is ever evolving depending on where you are in your life.

Completely Unrelated

This post has nothing to do with writing, books, or anything. It’s just amusing.

Source Unknown

About a week ago I was rear-ended at a red light. The best I can figure, the driver behind me saw the left-turning arrow in the parallel lane and figured it was time to go, in spite of the fact that no one was moving and the light in our lane was still red. Shocking, but this is driving in Halifax — newcomers to the city are consistently astounded with the stupidity of native motorists.

So we exchange information and go on our ways. As far as I can tell, the trunk is collapsed and will need to be replaced. When the adjuster arrives to have a look at it, he says the damage is so much he doubts a repair will be done, so I’m prepping for the possibility of a new car.

Regarding the trunk, I told him I couldn’t open it, that it was wedged shut. He decided to give it a try and POP, it opens. Now he has the task of trying to get it to shut. He’s about 100 years old so it was a feat.

Fast-forward a few days. I’m driving down the same road on which I was hit and suddenly my trunk pops. I can’t pull over the shoulder because a) I’m in the left lane and I can’t see into the right to know whether anything is coming, and b) like I said, Halifax motorists are assholes who wouldn’t yield ROV to a car in jeopardy unless it was on fire. So I pull onto the first side-street I can find and into a car wash. No dice in getting the trunk shut on my own. I call a truck and after trying to explain to the dispatcher the problem, they send me a guy to fix it. He does so by climbing into the trunk from the backseat and kicking the shit out of it.

His last words to me are “Don’t open it again. Seriously.”

So I carry on my not-so-merry way, and manage to get through the weekend semi-confident that it will hold.

And it did. Right up until I was in rush-hour traffic. To get to work, I have to go through a construction done where the road is torn up. First bump and POP!

Son of a bitch!

At least this time I am right next to a parking lot and there is a grocery store in walking distance. I grab my purse and hoof it over, grab some duct tape, and come back to my car … only to discover that some SUV driving jerkoff has decided to park so close to me that I have to wedge myself into the car.

After much duct tape, I call the insurance company and exclaim “THE VEHICLE IS NOT SAFE TO DRIVE. HELP.”

So now I wait for a rental and an appraisal, and my POS car is even more shittier because it’s basically being held together by duct tape.

Mentoring #FAIL

As I’ve said before, I’m on Team Meh when it comes to 50 Shades.. I can’t comment on the book because I haven’t read it (and to be honest, I don’t plan to) but the hype surrounding it is your typical “OMG THE LATEST THING” pandemonium.

From a reader POV, it’s beyond silly. I have friends who disagree on the book who no longer speak to one another. And let’s not discuss my Mom reading all three of the books (seriously, don’t even mention it. I will shun you.)

But from a writer point of view, I’m reading every blog post I can on the subject. For some, the subject matter of the book is disgusting — folks who have been reading and writing BDSM for years have something to say about the sex in the book, and they’re not impressed. Others are tongue-in-cheek about how OMG THE LATEST THING has prompted publishers to repackage old smut to resemble 50 Shades. And then there are some who just enjoy making fun of the phenomena that is 50 Shades.

However, there is one theme in blog posts from some writers that never fails to piss me off: “50 Shades is important, and no matter who you are, you should be reading it, reading it, and reading it again, and learning from it.”

The more I read these types of posts, the more condescending they come off. Perhaps I’m misunderstanding the intent of such posts, but  to me there is little to be gleaned by a writer from studying 50 Shades itself. There is no magic formula to create the kind of buzz and success that 50 Shades has garnered — if that was the case, erotica and erotic romance would have been on the bestseller lists long ago.

Today’s post at Dear Author by Jane, who is unabashed in her disdain for the book, outlines what (in my opinion) should really be taken away from the 50 Shades craze:

Publishing needs books like this. It makes a publishing house healthy and then they can take chances or bring us books that are less well known but deserve to be published. Authors need books like this. A book like 50 Shades is a book most authors say to themselves that they can write. The success of 50 Shades emboldens authors to keep writing. We readers need that.

How is what Jane described supposed to happen if some writers are leading new authors to write a 50 Shades fanfic for the sake of breaking through?

Open the door and let readers and writers find one another.  That is what 50 Shades is doing. Don’t make it harder for this to happen by telling new authors that they should insult potential readers by offering a shoddy knock-off, because readers aren’t stupid and that door will slam shut.

Meh

There seem to be three camps in the erotica/erotic romance/romance communities regarding 50 Shades of Grey. There are the champions who loved the book to bits and will defend it to the death. There are people who hate the book with a passion. And then, the camp I fall under, there are those of us who just go “meh, more porn” over the whole kerfuffle and go back to reading.

I’m a little baffled. I was around fifteen when SEX and Erotica were released, along with Basic Instinct. This was around the same time I got my hands on my first erotic novel via the Doubleday Book Club. At that age, I devoured sexual thrillers ( if only Good Reads was around at that time, I’d still have the titles) and I still have all of the erotica I bought via mail-order, since I couldn’t go into a store and buy it. I just assumed that this was something all adults know about and that I was just learning about it. Certainly erotica has been a part of my life since just after puberty.

As baffled as I am, I’m sure the Deep Throat/Behind The Green Door and The Story of O generations before me were baffled and screwing up their faces in the same “Seriously? Been there, done that” whenever a new sexual revolution hit.

This may sound condescending,  but it boggles my mind to think that there are people who didn’t know erotica was as widely available as pornographic films have been. How did these readers not know about the existence of the naughty corner in bookstores?  Every new friend I’ve made over the last few years seems to already have a stash of erotica hidden somewhere. The book we passed around was about a woman in love with a serial rapist — a book that makes 50 Shades of Grey come off like The Vampire Diaries when it comes to the psychology of a BDSM relationship.

(Side note to my peeps: if everyone wasn’t reading these, WHERE AM I FINDING YOU FELLOW PERVERTS?)

Now it seems like if you’re a woman and you cop to reading erotica, the reaction is “*snicker* You read Mommy Porn. ON THE BUS. HA!”

(Let’s take a second here to discuss Mommy Porn. Really? I often call it “girly porn” in jest, but when you get down to it these books and stories aimed at women aren’t all that different from films in the golden age of porn — Spectators, starring Kay Parker comes to mind: a couple in a heterosexual relationship starts experimenting in threesomes and group sex, and by the end of the movie the woman is so empowered she’s packing her bags and heading for greener pastures. It’s a theme common in a lot of erotic novels, but you don’t hear anyone calling Spectators Girly Porn or Mommy Porn. Same with some of the more bigger budget movies adult film studios have released. Dreamquest? Pirates? Both of them could have been Black Lace titles, yet explicitly porn. And if one’s  boyfriend reads fantasy erotic romance because the plot sounded cool, is it still Mommy Porn? Or has it jumped into a less-ridiculed realm? Inquiring minds want to know.)

And now we have yesterday’s bit of fun — Total-E-Bound (who, in full disclosure, published my Head Over Heels) is doing erotic adaptations of classic novels. Given the spotlight on erotica at the moment, the internet’s reaction was no surprise: “Oh come on, that’s just silly.” It even made Anderson Cooper’s Ridiculist.

This, ladies and gentlemen, as Anne Rice’s Sleeping Beauty trilogy is being re-released amidst much fanfare.

Erotic adaptations are not new. I’ve got a bookcase full of this stuff that proves it. Over a century ago, long before Pride and Prejudice: Hidden Lusts was published, there were saucy versions of the story flitting around. Alan Moore (Watchmen, League of Extraordinary Gentlemen) released a graphic novel called Lost Girls in the early 90s depicting the consensual and non-consensual activities of Alice, Dorothy Gale, and Wendy Darling. Collette Gale has been “seducing the classics” since 2007.

And yet we have more sniggering over this TOTALLY NEW THING.

It’s good news that women (and men) are discovering erotica. I’m not totally thrilled that one of those women is my Mom, mind you, but I’d be naive to think that this is her first foray into the world of smut. Yet myself and the rest of us in the “meh” crowd will continue to scratch our heads and wonder what in the fuck all the fuss is about while simultaneously dishing out recommended reads to the newbies. Welcome to the club, ladies.

Everyone else just needs to grow up and deal with my 20 year collection of horny monks, pirates, gardeners, billionaire playboys and Hot Draculas.

This is why I don’t buy books at Big Box anymore

This isn’t the first time I’ve ranted about this subject, so if you’ve heard this before my apologies.

I haven’t read any of the “50 Shades” books and have barely been paying attention to the hype, save for laughing at Amy’s dislike and occasionally taunting her with it. Kind of annoying to have all my e-tailers recommending this to me, but whatever. I haven’t read the books because they just don’t seem like my thing for a few reasons, but I can get behind any author who manages to score a deal as sweet as this one has. I have noticed a few readers on blogs and whatnot asking for similar books, and there’s no shortage out there.

Just don’t go to my local Big Box, unless you want to follow up “50 Shades” with some Robertson Davies (ooooh sexy.)

I rarely buy print now, and when I do it’s usually through Better World Books. What sent me into Big Box this time was a hunt for a recipe book stand. I have a new routine when I go into Big Box — browse bargain cookbook section, browse local interest, browse the Kobo section for accessories, check out the naughty corner to see if they carry the anthologies I’ve been a part of, and then I leave.

Recently the naughty corner has been banished. I’m pretty sure it hasn’t been moved, since I scoured every section of the Big Box in search of it. The adult titles used to be shelved between Manga and Horror. Now, poof, gone. I’ve noticed that a lot of the titles previously shelved in the naughty corner have migrated to romance.

I’m not surprised or even outraged that the naughty corner has disappeared. Most people buy their smut in digital format. And it’s about time the more romance-centric books were moved to romance – taking up one whole side of the Big Box, romance can play nice and let the naughtier cousins hang out. It’s not like my Big Box is the only one — Leah Braemel describes a similar shift in her local Big Box. And frankly, there are more atmospheric places to buy smut than a place that vaguely stinks of Starbucks and has a  noisy play area in the opposite corner. Who wants to stand there sampling a book about double penetration while someone’s five year old has a meltdown a few feet away?

Sadly, though, a lot of the titles I recall being in the naughty corner didn’t even make the cut into romance. Meh. Annoying, but like I said, so long as they sell like hotcakes as ebooks I doubt the authors in question will experience any great loss in being banished from between Horror and Manga.

What got my arse up was the location of “50 Shades.” I wasn’t even looking for it. I was perusing for Nick Hornby, but when I glanced to my right, there it was in general fiction & literature. So I scuttled back and forth, looking for some of my favourite erotica/erotic romance authors in general fiction & literature. Surely if “50 Shades” is considered GF&Lit, then I can pick out more smut elsewhere, right?

Nope. Not in general fiction. Not in romance. Nowhere.

Hrmm.

So, if “50 Shades” is erotic romance, shouldn’t it be in the romance section? That way when someone reads “50 Shades” and goes looking for something similar, they know where to look. They can go back and pick up more kink than you can shake a stick at by going right to where they found “50 Shades” and averting their gaze right or left: “Hmmm, Megan Hart. Sounds hot. I’ll try this next.”

And for a more bitchier point, if “50 Shades” gets let out of the romance box, why not Lora Leigh? Why not Maya Banks? Hell, why not Anne Rice’s Beauty series? Why do none of the erotic adaptations of Pride & Prejudice get shelved in the same category as the original work? And frankly since “50 Shades” is based on Twilight, why hasn’t that book been liberated from the YA section at my Big Box? (YA seems to suffer a similar fate as the romance category – “like Pretty Little Liars? Want more? Too bad, read some Vampire Diaries and be off with you.”)

This isn’t a slam on “50 Shades” or it’s author by any means. It’s a slam on my local Big Box for inconsistency when it comes to categorization of romance. If a category takes up the entire side of a store, take some time to sort like with like to make it easier for readers. If I go to the cooking section looking specifically for vegetarian dishes, it’s categorized under vegetarian. If I want another vegetarian cookbook, back to vegetarian I go. If I want some steampunk romance, I don’t even have a sci-fi/fantasy romance section to refer to.

Come on, Big Box. It’s not like I have a worker bee following me around going, “If you like THIS TITLE, you’ll love THIS TITLE,” to give me the Amazon experience.  Your biggest section is a pain in the ass to navigate. Historical romance, sci-fi/fantasy romance, romantic comedy, and so on (and get thee a gay/lesbian romance category, please) – make it easy.

Then put “50 Shades” where it belongs so its readers can enjoy more smut without having to consult the Internet gurus. Because, you know, we can buy our books on the Internet while we’re there, didn’t ya hear?

Annemarie versus DRM

One tradition of year-end is stocking up on some books. In previous years I’d gotten gift cards for the bookstore and I would place my orders on Boxing Day. Last year I decided to take advantage of my ebook reader and some sales going on at some of the small presses and small-press retailers. If you’ve been following this blog in the last year you’ll know that I’ve been on a massive purging kick. Five bookcases became one. I can count on one hand the paper books I bought this year, so I kept up with the ebook only-theme of 2010 as I decided to check out some sales online.

Christmas Eve. I bought two books via Kobobooks and hit another store I typically frequent. In the past when I bought from this store and I got to the download section I’m able to pick out my preferred format, which is EPUB. As I added two books to my cart I didn’t notice that the fine print at the bottom of the blurb told me that the book was available in one format only, so needless to say that when I got to the download page and saw that my only option was PDB, I did a double take.

Um. Ok. Shit. I wasn’t familiar with the format but I figured I would give it a try to see if I could open it in my usual library software.


Computer says no …

Damn it. Up next I tried Calibre. Nope. I knew I wasn’t getting my money back and let’s be honest, it’s my fault that I didn’t pay closer attention when I was making my purchase, so I figured I’d better find a way to be able to read these books. First I tried the desktop application available from the bookseller. The desktop application is, well, a desktop application. Reading on your computer. Blech.

I try the iPod app next. Once I have the books loaded into this app I start scrolling through the pages. Blech. I hate reading on my phone unless I absolutely have to.

So I think to myself, ”I should have just gone to the bookstore and bought the book in print.”

This is where the switch is flipped. Now I’m really pissed. Why should I have to jump through hoops to read this book? There are a number of good reasons to buy an ebook over a paper book, so why is this whole process making me feel like I should have bought paper instead of digital?

And furthermore, why shouldn’t I be able to read this on my reader of choice? These books that I bought were not available via Kobobooks, nor my other usual haunts. They are available in the Sony store but I’ve had so much trouble with Sony when I owned their reader that I refuse to even consider putting myself through that agony. When I checked the publisher’s page I was disappointed to discover that while most of their other titles were available in EPUB, these two books were not and they were DRM protected.

There has been lots of grumbling about different formats for ebooks and the mess this has caused. From personal experience, it knocked Kindle right off my list of options when I was shopping for a new e-reader. It’s worse than when digital music was in its childhood years – woe to the poor consumer who bought WMA. Back then I would burn my WMA files to a CD and then rip them as MP3. Now I don’t have to do that, since MP3 is pretty much the standard format.

So here’s where I am on Christmas Eve: I don’t read the book at all, which means I had just wasted my hard earned money; I read the book on my computer or phone, neither of which is a pleasurable reading experience; or I fix the problem myself by learning how to strip the DRM from my book so I can convert it.

It took about forty-five minutes between my initial Google search on stripping DRM and actually getting the books, now in EPUB format, onto my Kobo. It was that easy.

Now it goes without saying that as an author I’m against piracy. Seeing my book on a torrent site for the first time made me see red and I support my publishers in their efforts to combat piracy. A lot of people go into the creation of a book and they all deserve their slice of the pie for all the hard work they put into it, but no one wins by making it harder for a dedicated reader to enjoy his or her book.

I can’t enjoy my book on a computer or on a phone, no matter how good it is. The fact that I had to resort to this to enjoy my book shows how far the ebook industry still has to go. Is DRM needed? Yes, to combat piracy, but there has to be a better way than this. If the book had been available in more than one format (that one is on the publisher’s shoulders, I think) I would have had no problem using it with Adobe Digital Editions, with which I`m already comfortably using to manage DRM on my existing titles.

Add to this my discomfort with the whole security feature of having to enter my credit card information before the file is released to me in the reader software. I value my data too much to be comfortable having my information embedded into an ebook file that costs less than a generous trip to Starbucks.

Honestly, as an author, if it`s a choice between combating pirates and making things difficult for legitimate readers versus the honour system, I’ll pick the honour system. There are a lot of folks who want to steal books using piracy, but there are even more folks like me who just want to buy a book to curl up with a hot cup of tea and enjoy.

Ranty Pants Writer

So yesterday myself and a few other writers got into a mini discussion about an email that had been sent by what we assumed was Publisher X. I’ve mentioned this publisher on my Twitter stream a few times — my inability to remove myself from their mailing list was a recurring theme.

Essentially the email came from a 3rd party and announced a writing contest that the sender was holding with Publisher X. The first line announced that the website this sender represented was joining forces with Publisher X and the winner of the contest a) would be included in an upcoming anthology that was to be published by Publisher X, and b) the winner would be paid in goods, not money. Publisher X’s name is mentioned no less than seven times in this email. Logical conclusion? Publisher X provided contact information to the sender.
I have been published by Publisher X and in the past submitted to them – a short story that was “declined” (Publisher X wanted to see a longer version, I declined) and an anthology submission that I withdrew from for various reasons. Another writer who received this email had sent a submission to them. The logical conclusion was that Publisher X had provided their list of authors to the sender, who then went on to use it to promote the contest.
Of course, myself and the other writers had a problem with this and discussed what to do. There was a question of, “do we want to be bitchy and kick up a stink?” since sending a strongly worded letter to a publisher can border on “bad author” behaviour, but ultimately we decided to express our irritation with Publisher X and did so by sending an email through their website. Emails were also sent to the sender of the email asking to be removed.
This morning I got a response from Publisher X which was essentially, “Not our fault, we didn’t do it, we would never do it, they got the email on their own” followed by a copy & paste job from the sender explaining that they had gotten my email address by going to my website, where my email address is in plain sight, and the sender apologized to Publisher X for letting them get into the middle of it. No apology from Publisher X, because clearly it was not their fault.
Right.
My response to Publisher X was that it was unfortunate that this happened but it was easy to see how it would be assumed that Publisher X had provided the information, considering the email repeatedly mentioned Publisher X and directed existing Publisher X authors to submit directly to their editor. In other words, I’m not apologizing for giving them a verbal slap on the wrists because I know I didn’t overreact. It looked like the email came from Publisher X, and Publisher X isn’t coming off the least bit apologetic that some folks were offended.
As a writer you will come across those publishers who are just a pain in the ass to deal with. I’ve been fortunate that I haven’t had this experience often — everyone I deal with is incredibly professional and courteous. Everyone except for Publisher X, who have inspired one eye-roll after another.
In spite of some high-profile bashing from the industry I was consistently open-minded about this publisher, both as a reader and as a writer, but since my initial contact with them I’ve started to slide to the other side of the fence and it burns my ass to admit that the bashers were on to something.
Live and learn.

Nothing bookish at all

So I quit smoking on Thursday at midnight. It’s now Sunday afternoon and after bluffing me for two days my body has thrown the kitchen sink at me. I’ve been here before. I quit for about a month when I was in university. The next couple of days are going to be pure evil. I really feel like snarling and biting.

 That’s me on the right.
I’ve been smoking since I was fifteen. I even remember my first one — by the fence next to the high school. I just decided to try it. I remember how awful the first one was but I tried it again later because, well, it must be good if millions just keep doing it.
Yeah, the stupidity. It burns 17 years later. I cleaned my car, the hub of most of my smoking activity.I’ve got the gum. I’ve got water. I’ve got decaf tea. I have four seasons of Supernatural. I have the latest Hedley album.
Bring it on.

I’m an adult, tyvm

My reader side is foaming at the mouth.
The last few days has seen a clusterfuck in a certain online literary community. Two sides duking it out (AGAIN) for supremacy over Teh Internet over the right to free expression (or to be an asshat, depending on your interpretation). I had a post up on the weekend but I took it down since there are now more than enough ways to come by links to this crap.
As the debate raged on (and on, and on, and on) one of the main arguments was that folks on one side are declaring that said that the weekly mob-gathering served the greater good by saving the world from bad books. The mob rejoices. Thank God they were saved!
It is here that you can put on your WTF face.
Really?!?! I need to be saved from bad books because …. I’m suffering from some disease that renders me incapable of recognizing crap when I see it?
I’m one of those readers who usually likes to have more information about a book before I buy, but what others are saying about the book is usually low on the list (what the book is actually about is surprisingly high on the list, since apparently publishers have instead decided it’s wise to use the jacket to tell me how brilliant the book is via kudos.) Usually all it takes for me to buy a book is a great cover or a great blurb.
However, there’s apparently a lot of stupidity surrounding the simple act of chosing a book if so many need to have their hands held in order to make a decision.
One of the biggest issues being screeched about is the whole genre vs. genre thing. Take for example the horror v. paranormal romance debate. While I have my own beefs about non-horror titles bleeding into the horror section (LKH as horror? I think not.) However, as a reader I can wander over to horror, pick up Richard Laymon in one hand and Coleen Gleason in the other (squee! for both) and I can tell the difference between the two. In one hand I have some sick and twisted shit involving a man-beast that likes to tear the shit out of people who get too close; in the other, I have an ass-kicking heroine in a corset. I don’t need a manual to tell me which is the paranormal romance and which is the horror.
I’m not stupid.
But before I go off on a tangent about genre wars, back to bad books. Just like you can take a cue from a book and tell which label it fits into you can use the same clues to determine whether or not you’re getting crap. If you’re actually in the bookstore you have the ability to *gasp* open up the book and start reading. You know all those annoying people sitting in those huge honking chairs that are always in your way? They’re reading. They’re deciding whether or not that book is worth their money. Two people might pick up the same book and come to different determinations. There was one day I overheard a clerk making recommendations to a reader and I felt like clubbing her over the head with an unabridged copy of The Count of Monte Cristo. I thought they book in question was crap for so many reasons. She obviously didn’t think so.
They make it simple online. If you go to an online book seller and they have everything you need – cover art, comments by other readers, excerpts, blurbs, etc. If by the time you’re done reading the entire catalogue entry for a book and you still haven’t figured out whether this is something for you then there really is no hope for you.
Go to http://www.omnilit.com/. Tell me you can’t pick out the good books from the bad.
And even if you do get a bad book, so what? I want Sara Douglass to give me my money back after the second Wayfarer’s Redemption book I suffered through but it’s not happening and why should it? Just because I thought it was the worst book I’ve ever read doesn’t mean it is and I must save people from it.
Not only that but sometimes you’re wrong about a “bad” book. I’ve gone off on a rant about how awful a book is plenty of times only to haul my foot out of my mouth by the end of it.
And sometimes something is so bad it’s goooooood. I recently read a smutty paranormal story. I knew it was going to be bad when I bought it. That’s why I bought it and now I can’t stop reading it with the same compulsion that makes me watch Flesh Gordon. This book which most would call bad was wildly entertaining to me and had I sought out the advice of some reading guru I would have probably been told what garbage it was and missed out on it.
No one needs to be saved by a bad book just like no one needs to be saved from a bad movie. Sometimes a book is so tragically flawed your teeth hurt as you read it but that doesn’t excuse an entire collective of readers who have decided that they need some sort of book-buying messiah (or an entire pantheon) telling them what’s good and what’s bad.
My point is simply not to let someone else dictate to you what is good and what is bad and don’t judge a book until you read it, and if you did hate it don’t make it your personal mission to make sure the book never sees the light of day. Just tell people you didn’t like it and why and leave it at that. Otherwise you look like some kind of controlling, obsessive freak with an agenda.
Reviewers serve a great purpose to both readers and authors. They’re the bridge that connects the two and no matter how much you disagree with a reviewer’s style or choices (or motivations) they can introduce you to some spectacular reading, but they’re still just readers like you. Whether the reviewer is an armchair reviewer who does it just to talk about the stuff they’ve read with other folks who like the same, or whether they’ve gone pro they offer no more wisdom than you do as a reader, so there’s no need to turn off your brain and stop thinking for yourself.
You’re not a sheep. You can make up your own mind. It’s ok if you accidentally read something bad. You could have spent that whole $4.99 on whores and liquor!
(Oh, and one more thing – if you’re going to trash a book as a part of some bizarre revenge plot amidst an online disagreement be sure not to mention online that you plan to do so before you read the book. Not only do you look like an asshole but you are one.)